That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
did i just pee glitter
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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