After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize