i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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