Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
