When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"