When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...