o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.