I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?