Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.