In the future we'll all be gay
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.