found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do