Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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