DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
