So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
