So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
