so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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