Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
