you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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