Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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