weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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