I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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