i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
