I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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