That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
