Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
