My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
