I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
pray to the hookup gods
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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