just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
