return my video game
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
