yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
