MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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