sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
