i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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