I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
