I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
