I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
