3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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