It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
