i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish i was in the wii world.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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