No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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