Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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