forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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