The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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