omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
