Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
