grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
