yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
