from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
