i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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