He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize