3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
