im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
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At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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