just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize