We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sext me about skeletons
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
