Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
