She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
false alarm, still single
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize