His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Its about making memories worth repressing
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
