youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
